Sam is almost 7 years old, and he doesn't miss a trick.
He picks up on any family issue, big or small, by zoning in on what I say to Gram on the phone. He reads headlines in the newspaper. Remember the spelling code that adults use around small children? "The neighbor's dog D-I-E-D." Forget it, Sam figures it out.
So, when I said to my husband, "What a horrible story out of Manchester," Sam called out from the next room, "What story? What happened?"
I froze. When an inquisitive child asks about a senseless tragedy such as the shooting at Hartford Distributors that left nine dead, how should a parent respond?
"First and foremost, you try to shield them as much as possible," says Dr. Laura Saunders, a child and adolescent psychologist at the Institute of Living in Hartford. "But inevitably, things filter through. Keep it simple."
She advises providing the least amount of information in a calm, direct manner. In response to a question about the Manchester killings, for example, Saunders would say, "A man went to his work and hurt other people."
Saunders believes too much information can be damaging to young minds: "You scare them and create unnecessary anxiety."
She says children also respond emotionally to storm warnings that come on the TV, out of the blue: "Address their anxiety, provide security and comfort," Saunders advises.
I want my boys to be kids as long as possible. I hope they continue to skip, leap and giggle without a care in the world. They'll be dealing with the realities of life soon enough. And, I have to say, the fact that hard-working people can go to their jobs and never return home is almost unbelievable. Even for a grown-up.
